The Instagram Paradox
Anyone else feeling a disconnect with Instagram lately? I don't know what it is, but something just isn’t vibing like it used to...
Lately, I can't seem to stay on Instagram for more than a few moments—it almost irritates me. Pinterest and Substack have become my go-to spots. They inspire creativity, help me dream big, and introduce me to amazing like-minded people. Even creating a mood board for my next photoshoot or planning wardrobe revamp off of Pinterest gives me goosebumps, like winning a plushy or eating cotton candy as a little girl at the fair (though, I’ve never actually been to a fair). Not sure where that moment of imagination came from. LOL
The Instagram Paradox…
Instagram was introduced to us following Facebook; a place where we can stay connected enabling us to share moments, discover new communities, express ourselves and for some, use it as a curated little photo #aesthetic photo blog.
The "Instagram Paradox" refers to the conflicting ways in which the social media platform both connects and isolates people, and how it influences self-perception and reality.
Illusion of Perfection: Users post curated, idealized moments, leading to comparisons and feelings of inadequacy.
Social Validation vs. Authenticity: Seeking likes and comments for validation often overshadows true self-expression.
FOMO: Constantly seeing others' experiences can make users feel left out or like their lives are less exciting.
Pressure to Perform: Instagram can turn into a platform for self-promotion, causing stress and burnout.
Ew. I don’t like all that. So how do we control feeling this way? There’s books and even sometimes posts on this same platform on how to control all these negative things as you keep scrolling…
Here’s a couple (and it’s things you probably already know, but why not the reminder):
Limit Comparisons: Remember, people usually share just the highlights of their lives, not the full picture. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. I recently saw a video from a blogger talking about how these "perfect" places bloggers hang out and their picture-perfect homes aren’t always what they seem. It’s easy to forget that behind those curated posts, there’s a lot more going on than what we see. I can relate!
Curate Your Feed: Follow accounts that inspire and uplift you, and unfollow or mute those that cause negative feelings.
Set Boundaries: Take breaks from social media to recharge and reduce the pressure to constantly be online and tell people what you’re doing and how well. Replace it with something like SUBSTACK. I hardly go on Insta now, it’s boring. It doesn’t do anything for me other than the occasional cool outfit I’m inspired by.
Focus on Real Connections: Engage in genuine conversations rather than seeking validation through likes and comments. YES! Comment and DM those that make you feel things. Who cares if they don’t engage back because they’re famous and might have 6542483992 followers. They see it, they see you.
Practice Gratitude: Reflect on your own life and what you're grateful for, instead of comparing it to what you see online. YEP. That’s why for me my page is my positive little curated album. Like, whoa, I’ve come so far and I look cool doing it😎
Be Authentic: Post what truly matters to you, rather than what you think others want to see. Embrace your uniqueness! I really hate following trends, I always try to find my niche, be myself and show my true self. No reason or need to hide and pretend to be something you’re not. You’ll be noticed and attract realness if you be you.
In a world where everyone’s hustling, balancing the grind while trying to stay positive and hopeful, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. The uncertainty of what tomorrow, next month, or next year might bring—especially in parts of the world facing challenges—can feel a bit daunting. We often turn to social media to share a little light, a little positivity, and let the world know we’re doing OK. We post those curated snapshots from our latest trip and then find ourselves scrolling through stories of people we hardly talk to anymore—hanging out with their kids, sipping fancy cocktails, celebrating birthdays, or taking sunset selfies on a gorgeous beach. Cool, cool. But what are we truly gaining from all of this? Personally, I try to engage, cheer people on, and spread good vibes. But sometimes, we all get lost in that endless scroll, and that’s totally fine - if you know how to channel it and not get upset. It’s OK if you’re not vibing with someone else’s lifestyle or life story. You’re on your own unique path, creating your own journey—and that’s what matters most. Let go of the guilt about not engaging or liking every post. It’s honestly perfectly fine. Focus on your own growth, your own dreams, and the positivity you want to bring into your world. And maybe this is a little pep talk for myself, but hoping it can be helpful to you too!
Most of the accounts I follow (like, actually follow follow not just the follow button) are close friends, fashion brands, stylish influencers, and photographers—things and people that inspire me. But honestly, I post sometimes and ask myself, ‘What am I even doing this for?’ and I’ve had people ask, ‘Who are you making these silly or fashion inspired reels for?’. Dude, ME. I am literalllyyy doing it for me. Honestly, I could care less about other people’s opinions. I love going through my own feed, scrolling through my own photos, and laughing at my ridiculous reels, or reminded myself of those jeans I haven’t worn in forever. Instagram is like my personal curated blog—a space for me to express myself, and yes, be a bit weird. That’s the reason. It always has been.
I've never really been bothered by my follower count or whether people comment on or like my posts. I know you're seeing it—whether you’re quietly liking it or just keeping it moving, it’s all good. But every now and then, I’ll catch myself thinking, ‘Wait... six likes? 367 story views and only six likes?’ But hey, that’s cool. I see you, and I’m still doing my thing—spreading positivity and keeping it real. And that’s what matters most!
It actually helps me stay positive. I have sh*t going on too, but then I post a cutesy stupid outfit pic and I feel good. Like heyyyyy, she’s got it even though inside she may be crumbling. SO, maybe Instagram should simply be a place where you post something good and then look back and think - girl, it’s alright. Look at the bright side of life :) That oat latte was fantastic and so was that sparkly purse, matching the stupid fish makeup case.
- Christina
It’s a whole yes for me. Even though I’ve nailed my follows down to the perfect timeline, I still feel that one-off sense that even though I don’t see anything wrong on Instagram, I do feel it. Pinterest and Substack are it for me too! Another good one? A good magazine! Thanks for the good read x
Maybe someone should bring back MySpace. I don’t recall the same toxicity on that platform. Or maybe its because I was like, 19 and didn’t know anything at the time. Anyway, great read, and great food for thought!