I used to think personal style was mostly about buying the right things. In fact, I know most of you feel/felt this way at some point.
Not in an “I need designer everything” way. More in a “once I find the perfect trousers my entire life will stabilize” way.
Which, unfortunately, is how I have approached shopping for most of my adult life.
For years, I thought stylish people simply had better clothes. Better taste. Better tailoring. Better posture, somehow. Like there was a secret membership card you received after purchasing an oversized blazer expensive enough to change your personality (hahaha…).
But lately, I’ve started noticing something very annoying:
The most stylish people are almost never wearing the most interesting outfit in the room?!
In fact, half the time they’re wearing something deeply unremarkable.
Black trousers.
White t-shirt.
Leather jacket.
Loafers.
Maybe a gold hoop if they’re feeling wild.
(If you're wondering what I mean by "good basics," think pieces like a great white tee, or tank, tailored black trousers, an oversized blazer (your forever piece, no joke), loafers, a fun leather jacket or short trench, a silk scarf (you can literally tie anywhere - hips, neck, bag…), fun gold oversized earrings, and a bag that works harder than you do (the more practical, unique, the better!).
Now before everyone starts emailing me photos of black trousers and accusing me of promoting a fashion retirement home, let me be clear:
These are just the foundations.
You still NEED to spice things up.
Change the shoes. Add a scarf. Switch the jewelry. Wear the blazer on your shoulders instead of properly. Add a belt. Change the buttons. Put your hair up. Put your hair down. Add the red lip. Carry the ridiculous vintage bag.
The basics stay the same.
The personality is in the styling.
And yet they still somehow look more stylish than someone wearing a highly curated outfit involving seventeen Pinterest references and a shoe that should legally count as a workplace hazard.
I’ve become fascinated by this.
Because I don’t actually think personal style is about clothes anymore. I think it’s about familiarity. Recognition. Consistency. The ability to look like yourself over and over again without panicking and reinventing your entire aesthetic every six business days.
Which is difficult now because the internet has fully broken our brains.
It’s quite sad actually…
We are consuming an absolutely psychotic amount of outfit inspiration daily.
Every scroll presents a new woman you could become:
minimalist linen woman
downtown leather jacket woman
French woman with suspiciously good bangs
coastal woman
corporate woman
woman who owns mesh ballet flats for some reason
woman who definitely drinks sparkling water out of wine glasses
At some point, I think we all started confusing personal style with successful shape-shifting.
Like the goal was to become increasingly unrecognizable? Is that too deep?
Honestly, I think that’s why getting dressed feels exhausting for so many people now.
Because instead of building a wardrobe, we’re building twelve separate personalities?!
Can we not?
I noticed this especially when I started paying attention to the people whose style I actually admire in real life.
Not online. Real life.
They repeat outfits constantly.
Not in a sad way. In a confident way.
They wear the same coat every winter. The same jewelry every day. The same trousers they’ve owned for years. They’re not trying to produce visual shock every time they leave the house.
They just know what works.
Now, before you think I’m suggesting we all wear the exact same outfit every day, absolutely not.
The secret isn’t repetition. It’s variation.
The same black trousers can look completely different with a ballet flat instead of a sneaker. The same blazer can feel entirely new with different jewelry. Hair up versus hair down. A red lip. A silk scarf. A belt. A different bag.
Some of the chicest women I know are essentially wearing the same outfit formula over and over again. They’re just changing the punctuation. That’s what style actually is. Not constantly buying new sentences.
Just knowing how to rewrite the same one.
See what I did there? A little literature reference :)
And maybe this is controversial, but I honestly think the ability to repeat yourself is one of the strongest indicators of personal style.
Because repeating outfits requires confidence.
You have to stop dressing for the fantasy version of yourself and start dressing for your actual life.
That’s where things get humbling.
Because fantasy-self shopping is VERY fun.
Actual-self shopping is more like:
“Interesting. So apparently I want to wear comfortable black trousers and a jacket every day until I die.”
Which sounds boring until you realize how cool that person usually looks.
I also think stylish people understand something the rest of us resist accepting: most people are not paying attention to your outfit rotation nearly as much as you think they are.
No one is standing there saying:
“Wait... weren’t those her trousers on Tuesday?”
Meanwhile, we’re out here behaving like outfit repetition is a federal offense…
Or we’re so used to wearing the same thing, that we no longer know how to spice it up, because what’s the point?
So no, I don’t think personal style has much to do with clothes anymore.
I think it has more to do with knowing yourself.
Knowing which pieces you’ll actually wear.
Knowing which trends you’ll ignore.
Knowing the difference between your real life and your Pinterest life.
And most importantly, knowing when to walk away from the “just in case” purchase.
Will this stop me from occasionally convincing myself that a very specific vintage-inspired lace top is absolutely essential to the person I’m becoming?
Of course not.
I’m still a fashion person.
But these days, instead of trying to become a different woman every season, I’m mostly focused on becoming a more refined version of the same one.
The one who loves pearls.
The one who always packs too many outfit options.
The one who will probably never stop romanticizing a trip…
Just with fewer identity crises and better shoes.
Precisely this! I’m now excited to work on my sartorial punctuation.
Couldn’t agree more